Sorry, just couldn’t resist this one!!!  It is all in the name of… y’all fill in the blank!!

At my REAL job, one of my duties is opening the mail!  I know, a menial job but, somebody’s gotta do it!  Actually, I kinda like it because I can keep tabs on everything that I am supposed to!  We get mountains of medical journals, periodicals, waiting room reading material, yadda… yadda… yadda… you know, mostly magazines like Southern Living, Redbook, Ladies Home Journal… you know, geared toward the females!  Well, a couple of years ago, I took it upon myself to take out subscriptions to a few mags geared towards male interests.  You know, Golf.. Sports Illustrated, Hunting World…

I mean, men go to doctors, too!  And, it is rare that I would ever witness a man reading one of the frilly girl mags!  Granted, there’s no Playboy, Penthouse or Maxim but, I also subscribed to Details and Men’s Health.  Quite honestly, because I not only like to read up on the frilly stuff, but I also like to keep tabs on the guy stuff… I mean, this is important, don’tcha think?

Sorry, got a little off track… so, about a year ago, one of the most visited web sites on the net, WebMD, started publishing a magazine.  And, of course, being a medical office, we get this magazine for free!  We get about 20 a month, and after the staff takes one or two, there is usually one or two left for the waiting room.  It should be noted, I AM NOT A FAN of WebMD.  In fact, I think it is an evil site.  Let me explain why.

Let’s say that you’re suffering from a headache, okay?  Most people know to just grab the Tylenol bottle and be done with it.  Sometimes, however, the headache may last all day and into the night, and then some people get worried.  Or, maybe just looking for alternative treatments.  So, they take their happy asses to WebMD looking for a quick fix, and BOOM!  Banners flashing and suggestion that their headache could be a tumor, aneurysm, or any number of very serious issues… then panic sets in.  “What if?”  And then the tension sets in, which we all know can affect the already throbbing head… headache gets worse… “Should I go to the ER?”  On and on…

What I am saying is… not every headache is a tumor or aneurysm (although it could be, but chances are probably very slim), not every stomach ache is a dreaded rupture of the appendix, aortic aneurysm, or ovarian cancer.  And, not every leg cramp is a blood clot… y’all get my drift, right?  WebMD always puts forth the worse case scenario… at least in my experience and what I hear from patients.  Hey, this is great for the physician’s income… patient’s reading what it “COULD BE”… rushing off to the doctor to have their minds put to ease… maybe a test or two is ordered just to “rule out”.  But, chances are… it’s just a headache… we all get them from time to time.  It’s just a tummy ache… we all get them from time to time.  It’s just a strained muscle… we all get them from time to time.

Okay… sorry, off track again! 

I will be the first to admit, WebMD, the magazine, is a great magazine.  Much more benign than the web site.  There’s a wide variety of topics discussed, such as beauty, fitness, allergies, sleep, etc… and yes, sometimes the more serious diagnoses.  But, all in all, it’s a pretty good piece of reading material.

Well, I was going through the mail yesterday and the WebMD magazines had come!  I glanced quickly… had to look again… and, yet again.  I was shocked at one of the “headlines”….

SEX – WHY YOUR GUY LIKES PORN – PAGE 50

Well, I had to stop what I was doing and immediately read this article, LOL!  And, I was deeply offended that it didn’t read something like…

SEX- WHY THE SEXES LIKE PORN – PAGE 50

So, I am lickin’ my fingers trying to get to page 50, not 48 or 52… and, finally!!!  Page 50…

At the top of page 50 it reads:  “Tuning in to what turns you on”  And then, the title of the article is:  “XXX Factor”  Want to know why porn turns your guy on?  It’s HARD-wired.  *At this point I am thinking, wow, should this really be waiting room reading?  I mean, just the title of the article is a little… pornographic, right??  I mean, just by reading this article most guys are going to get a hard on… and, then they have to go into the examination room… trying to hide it, LOL!  Oh my…

Well, I had to take two minutes out of my busy day to read the article.  Now, I will summarize what I read… plain and simple.

Men’s brains are hard-wired for easy arousal, so that men are ready for sex WHENEVER the opportunity knocks!  And, that men are nocturnal sneaks… surfing the web and fingering their way through pornographic magazines, just looking for that subtle little picture or story that is going to get their HARD-wiring raging.  It doesn’t really say what happens after that but, I think we all know, right?

Anyway, the article does mention that 26% of males and just 3% of females visit online pornographic sites.  To this I say, BULLSHIT!  C’mon, let’s get real, WebMD… pornographic sites are the most visited sites on the world wide web, and you’re saying only a quarter of men and a handful of women are frequenting these sites?  Ahhhh, I think you need to do some more research…

I happen to love porn… I know a lot of females that do… with all of the single women in the world, and those that visit with their significant others… I am thinking the numbers should read, 50/50 at the very least!   WHY are people so afraid to admit that they visit porn sites?  I’m not… I mean, I am not going to blurt it out in the middle of my office waiting room but, I can share it with y’all.

I am not convinced that these numbers are, at all, correct.  Nor, am I convinced that any of my readers should EVER visit the WebMD site… if you’re concerned about something, call or visit your physician.  Don’t surf the web wondering what it “could be”… only to stumble across a web site that is going to paint the worst possible case scenario for ya.  I am telling ya, WebMD is EVIL… the web site, that is.

Admittedly, again, I do like the publication…

So ya know… this is a pornographic site, as is NiteFlirt!  I visit them both every day, and hopefully y’all do as well!!!

Yep, I know ya do… cause, you’re all HARD-wired!!  And, just lookin’ for a little… well, ya know what I am sayin’!  Something to calm down the circuitry.. the neurons… the protons…

The HARD-on!

Available and taking your pornographic requests on NiteFlirt, LOL!  How about this to calm things down?

Fuck the politicians and lobbyists that are trying to make pornographic materials and web sites illegal… you know they like it, too.  They are just trying to save face in the public eye.  They are just as hard-wired as the rest of us.

Now, about that headache…

Luscious Lyndee

Oh my… seems as though some of the slithery little bitches, aka: glitches, remain on NiteFlirt!  I kinda like that… it’s catchy!  “The Glitch Bitch”… oh well.

So, I have been reading a little of what other girls are going through, and  I empathize with them.  I mean, I have been back and taking your phone sex calls for about two weeks now, and have luckily only encountered two minor snafu’s this weekend.  Relatively minor, meaning I was already on a call and another NiteFlirt call was coming in.  So, the Glitch Bitch was hard at work, as was I!!

In any event, hopefully your troubles have been few in your attempts to reach your favorite gal.  Oh, last week, I had a call that was static ridden, but my client hung up and called right back, and the connection was as clear as a bell.  Other than that, no problems on the NiteFlirt front!!  Shew… I cannot imagine what these girls must be contending with… other than, The Glitch Bitch!

So, I watched no sports yesterday.  But, I did learn late last night that the Saints and Colts will meet in Miami on 2/7/10 in Miami at the Super Bowl!  Way to go, Drew!  I knew in the back of my mind that Brett and Co. would lose after the naughty trick last week in Dallas; running the score up at the end of the game.  In fact, I told my best friend, the NFL gods will make them pay for it.  And, they did!  Sorry, Brett!  I think now is the time for him to retire… for good!  From what I understand, he took a beating yesterday from the Saints defensive line…

Okay… enough about sports.

I am just taking a break from my other job… it’s a gorgeous day here in Dubai.  The sun is bright and shining, probably 70ish… a great day to get out and visit with Ra, but I really need to get some work done.  Last week was pretty much a total loss in that department.   So, to save face with the big boss, I gotta get it done today! 

I’ve been in sort of a bitchy mood the past few days… oh well, I am not perfect, nor will I ever be!  I mean, it ain’t easy being the Glitch Bitch, ya know?  I’ve got a glitch here and a glitch there… don’t we all?  I wish that I could just flip a switch and rid myself of the glitch but, then I’d no longer be known as the Glitch Bitch. 

Yeah, I know… a senseless piece of studder this afternoon… but, what did ya expect?

A masterpiece?

Have a great afternoon!

Luscious Lyndee, or was that a….

Firstly, I want to thank my callers for their calls this weekend!  It’s always good to hear from ya, and facilitate the perfect cum drenching fantasies for ya Secondly, this is the first time in my memory that I haven’t watched the NFL Playoffs… I suppose I will run across the winners on Yahoo or somewhere… but, just wasn’t up to football today  :-(  I know, unbelievable, eh?Thirdly, as I have always said, if you have a specific fantasy that you’d like to email me about, feel free to do so.  However, I am being bombarded lately with bullshit emails about wanting this and that, and then they never call!  I am here to tell ya, I will respond once!  If it is not followed up with a call… BLOCKED!  I am not going to sit here and waste my time going back and forth with you guys that are looking to get off for free via email!  Got it? (This message is not for those that I talk to, so please do not get confused!  If we’ve talked, you’re good to go!)And last but not least… I am currently available and taking calls on NiteFlirt… your favorite place to play!  Tonight is a night for all of the little cock suckers, faggots, sissy girls and cuckolds… yes, I am in one of those moods!!!  Well, it seems that is the type of callers I am attracting these days, LOL, so I guess it just goes without saying!Have a super duper night… Luscious Lyndee 

a DEMANDING BITCH this weekend!  I know, some of y’all are used to this type of behavior from me… but, this weekend it applies to all of ya!!As some of you already know, I contributed 25% of my NiteFlirt earnings last weekend to The American Red Cross to assist the worldwide efforts to hopefully bring back/rebuild, clothe, feed, provide medical care and so much more, to those affected by the devastating earthquake(s) in Haiti.  I will not divulge but, I made a nice contribution on Wednesday!  Thanks to y’all…So, as the fundraising efforts continue tonight, via network television, “Help For Haiti”, I have decided to again, donate 25% of this weekend’s earnings to the cause.  I have already called and made a donation, so if my earnings exceed, I will make it up to them.  I will be taking calls most of the weekend… I may be in and out, but feel sure y’all will catch me when you can.  The people of Haiti need our assistance.  It is truly heartbreaking to watch what is going on in the already destitute and mangled country.  Yes, I know, people everywhere need our help… right here in the good ole’ USofA as well.  And, you can bet that I always do my share in supporting causes here on our own soil.Okay… not going to go on and on… y’all get my drift!  So, make me a happy camper and either call me, or 1-877-99HAITI and make your donation.  Please, do it for me… for the people of Haiti.  I thank y’all…DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN… DO IT BECAUSE YOUR HEART TELLS YOU TO… DO IT FOR HUMANITY!Thank you,Lyndee And, a special thanks to George Clooney for organizing tonight’s fundraising event…

I am very happy to report that my “addiction” is now a mommy. Researchers are pretty sure there is only one baby cub but, there could be two? Of course, she had it while I was at work… after I have spent countless hours observing her. But, so long as mommy and baby are safe, that’s all that matters!!!

Congrats, Lilly!!!

Nature truly is amazing!!! Little cub sounds like a human baby, squealing and crying… priceless!!!

….can be a terrible thing!

As we’ve all heard, I am sure, Tiger Woods is supposedly in treatment for sex addiction… hmmmmm, I wonder what they teach you in that program?  I mean, how to you stave off the want and/or need for sex?   I mean, really?  I’ll just leave it at that!!

What even got me wanting to write about addictions, is the fact that I have gone through almost half of a tube of…. yep, you guessed it, Chapstick, today!  Don’t know why… just have!  If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!  Ah, and dig back through the pages and find the very teasing entry I did on Chapstick not that long ago.  Well, it might have been long ago, since I haven’t really blogged much recently

So, now I have this new addiction!  I mean, really, it is getting in the way of my normal routine.  First thing in the morning, gotta peek.  Mid-morning, gotta peek.  Lunch time, gotta peek.  Mid-afternoon, gotta peek.  Late afternoon, gotta peek.  Several times in the evening before bed, gotta peek.  And, fuck yes, I have even peeked in the very early hours… cuz, I am just not sleeping well these days.  So, what better to do when you can’t sleep, than peek?

I am not sure if it is an addiction or an obsession at this point, quite honestly.  All I know is, I CANNOT STOP PEEKING!  It might be for just a moment or two.  And, then again, I may become so consumed with the peeking that it actually turns into a long glance… I mean, I have peeked for a half hour at a time.  I know, that may not be very long for some but, that’s a pretty long peek if you ask me!!

Oh….

Maybe I am a voyeur, of sorts?  I don’t know… I just know that I am really enjoying what I am peeking at.  It has totally peaked my interest!  I never really found this sort of excitement from peeking… is it possible that I am dealing with a dreaded addiction, too?  Oh yes, I already admitted it.  I am.

Do y’all have any addictions?  If so, do share. 

Since I’ve discovered my new addiction, I’ve become most interested in hearing of others.  It’s a crazy concept, really.  Now, I totally understand the whole…. one thing leads to another.  Hmmmm….

Also, for the record… I know that this entry is going to come out as one huge assed paragraph, and I apologize… I am awaiting the assistance of my girl, Lynn, to update my WP… because I can assure y’all… and as you’ve noticed, I’m sure… blogging is not one of my addictions!  She will be around in a day or two to clean things up for me.  Thanks, Lynn!!

Okay, back to my new addiction… cuz, I am yawning now, and y’all probably are as well, and I think that I might be ready for some sleep… I normally don’t go into the office on Thursday’s, but I have to tomorrow.  Thanks for your sympathy.

Now… I gotta turn you on… it’s my job!

About a week or so ago, I was watching the Today Show… you know, with Matt and Meredith, and they had this representative from the North American Bear Society on.  Well, for the first time in internet history, they are televising (is that what you call it on the net?) a North American Black Bear, who makes her home in Northern Minnesota (just 30 miles south of the Canadian border) … yeah, her hibernation.  Cool, huh?

Well, the kicker is… she’s pregnant and going to have some cubs!  Wooo Hooo!  I am so fucking excited about this.  I have, over the past few days, in my somber, been doing a ton of research on the North American Black Bear, thanks to LILY!  Yes, that is the adorable one’s name.  I hope and pray that during one of my peeking episodes that I get to witness her giving birth!  I mean, that would just send me right over the fucking top… no kidding.  Peeking… over the top?  Hmmmmm?

So, I wanted to share the web site with the live feed of Lily in her den with all of ya out there that have made it this far… I know, it’s been a very boring entry…

http://www.wildearth.tv/static/wildearth/bearden.html   (Just mouse over at the far left of this line!  (I can never get this to work… LYNNNNNNNnnn…. HELP!)

I mean, right now… I am peeking!  Yes, I am watching Lily as I type!  She has kinda pissed us all off tonight, however.  She was out earlier and brough in a big tree branch, and it is blocking the view into her den!  But, I am still listening to the audio as I sit fixated on the tree branch…  I guess this is her way of saying, GIVE ME SOME FUCKING PRIVACY, FOLKS!!!

I guess if I had 50 thousand people peeking at me, I’d put a bush in front of me, too!  Haha…

Okay, so I have been available on NiteFlirt most of the evening, just to kinda take my mind off of things… which brings me to another addiction of mine…

Thinking too much!!!  So, on that note, go and take a peek, and maybe you, too, will be taken over the top…  I bet you go back for more… more than twice… three times…  I mean, who REALLY cares about Tiger’s sex addiction, anyway?  I don’t!

Ciao for now!

Good Sunday morning!!Just thought that I’d stop by and give you some “eye candy”… for those of ya that can’t find time to get to the strip clubs, here’s a little something especially for ya on this Sunday morning!  One problem, she’s clothed!  So, put on your night vision goggles and enjoy!I also wanted to thank all of ya for your calls this weekend.  As I had posted on my NiteFlirt pages, 25% of my earnings from this weekend will be donated to the Haiti Relief fund.  I know, that while so many have fallen upon hard times here in our own country, what the little island of Haiti is enduring is a travesty.  My heart goes out to all of those affected.Okay, sit back and enjoy the show…  

Good Sunday morning!!Just thought that I’d stop by and give you some “eye candy”… for those of ya that can’t find time to get to the strip clubs, here’s a little something especially for ya on this Sunday morning!  One problem, she’s clothed!  So, put on your night vision goggles and enjoy!I also wanted to thank all of ya for your calls this weekend.  As I had posted on my NiteFlirt pages, 25% of my earnings from this weekend will be donated to the Haiti Relief fund.  I know, that while so many have fallen upon hard times here in our own country, what the little island of Haiti is enduring is a travesty.  My heart goes out to all of those affected.Okay, sit back and enjoy the show… 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkGqQmsL4BM

Ciao!!