…round and round, I lay upon the haystack, listening to the one and only Luscious Lyndee…  LOL, yeah… I always manage to get a laugh outta the guy, but today he gave me a huge one!  A self admitted, happily married fella, just looking for a little Saturday morning “pick me up”!

I normally don’t write about my clients on this blog, like I do over on the PinkPantyCafe’, but today I make exception!  I am sure he won’t mind.  Afterall, he loves my blog… and, he’s a REPUBLICAN!  Not that it matters that much.  No.  Really, it doesn’t. 

So, after a little idle chit-chat about the weather, the space shuttle’s inability to land in Florida today because of all of the fucking rain we’ve been having, and the pseudo-millionaires whose homes are now in foreclosure… we move along to his fantasy. 

I won’t go into the details of his fantasy, that’s just not cool.  Anyway, after the fireworks have gone off on his side, he laughs!  This isn’t anything out of the ordinary for him.  We all have emotion after orgasm or cumming… whatever y’all want to call it, and it just so happens that his is laughter!  Today, I decide to ask why he’s laughing at me, and he proceeds to tell me that he isn’t laughing at me, rather himself.  So, being the inquisitive gal that I am, I ask “what’s so funny?”

I am giggling as I type this, by the way!  So, client says, “I’m out in the barn, because it’s the only place I get any privacy.”  I giggle, and say, “oh, so your propped up against a hay stack?”  Client says, “yes, I am, and sparrows are circling above me all pissed off because they want to get to building their nests!”  I admit, I broke out in hyseterical laughter… I mean, it’s not everyday I get a client calling me from his barn.  In fact, this was a first! 

I guess the barn wasn’t so private afterall? 

Oh, if birds could talk?

Alright… it is STILL raining here in Florida.  It hasn’t really stopped since my last blog entry… I’m not sure if it will ever stop.  I mean, I’ve never seen anything like this.  Rain, day in and day out.  Oh, in Florida, we call it liquid sunshine, I forgot. 

Damn, if only I could get the same results from the “liquid” as I do the “dry”?  Sunshine.  I really enjoy laying out and tanning, so Mother Nature needs to give us a break down here, so that I can get out and enjoy some fucking sun!

I hope y’all have a safe, happy and enjoyable holiday weekend.  I will be available and taking calls on NiteFlirt throughout the weekend.  I really need to get to the gym here soon, since they are closed Sunday and Monday.  GREAT, so not only is the rain messing with my schedule, so is the gym. 

Oh well, on this Memorial Day weekend… let’s remember the good times and the great people of this great nation… those that have given, and those that continue to give of themselves so that we might all enjoy…

The rain and the sunshine!

Peace,

Luscious Lyndee

So, I thought this would be the perfect time to just sit down and bang some keys…

By the way, as I do so, I am signed in and available to take your calls on NiteFlirt!  I am sure y’all know why I always have to mention NiteFlirt, right?  Well, for those of ya that don’t know, it is for “tag” purposes!  Ya see, in the wonderful world of the world wide web, whenever we blog, we can put “tag words” in, so that the little search engines that sweep our sites can pick up on the “key (tag) words, and then when someone uses a search engine such as Google, AOL, Vista or Yahoo (just to name a few), MAYBE, my site will pop up… ya get what I am saying, I hope.  It’s just too damn complicated for me to try and explain. 

So, despite this nasty weather this weekend, I did manage to get in a little sun time!  In one respect, I love the fucking rain!  But, I don’t like it when I have things that I want to do outdoors… well, with one exception, but that is a highly coveted secret!! 

I had a client the other day that relayed to me that he’d been spending a lot of time here on my blog, going waaay back!   He relayed how much he enjoyed reading a hodgepodge of “stuff”!  I will admit, most guests here, spend an average of 2 minutes to 3 minutes.  That is very unfortunate, as there is some pretty good stuff in my blog.  Granted, it isn’t all about sex and kink, but back in the day, I used to do some pretty decent writing about “things”!  And, even once, about “thingys”! 

Anyway, I have vowed on several occasions to get back into writing erotica.  I am, by no means, the best at it, but I do enjoy it!  These days, my writing has been very personal, so unfortunately, I cannot share it here.  Sorry!   Maybe someday, I will get back to doing some explicit material, but for now, it is on hold. 

As Mother Nature wreaks havoc outside my living room window, I just realized that I have listened to the same song now about 25 times… it is on YouTube and just keeps playing over and over.  Funny thing is, I am not yet tired of hearing it.  I am hoping that the lyrics will adhere to my gray matter, so that someday I will be able to sing the song in its entirety, LOL!  Right now, I just kinda fake it when I sing it… y’all do it too, I know!  Oh, ya wanna know what song it is?  That comes later… just promise that if ya ever call me, ya won’t ask me to sing it… I CANNOT SING!

For the record, I am fully aware of my using “y’all and ya” in place of the word “you or you all” when I do blog entries… this is also for quite personal reasons.  Hope ya don’t mind too much.  For the most part, I try to be gramatically correct, but sometimes I’m not.  I’m a southern girl, and down here in these parts we use some what maybe to y’all, incorrect English.  But really, who the hell cares?  Y’all know what I am saying… I hope!

Some things that I have been pondering lately include:

- why is life so fucking complicated at times?

- why isn’t my phone ringing right now?

- why do the same people send me the same meme’s over and over?

- how do you tactfully tell someone, “I’m not a kid anymore, so please just back off!”

- what really matters in this world?

(okay, my phone just rang… it was a very rude and obnoxious asshole that couldn’t tell me what he likes, just said, “make me cum”!  He then hung up on me… do I really care?  Fuck no, I don’t!  I’d rather not waste my time on that kind of caller, quite honestly!  I just sent him a “fuck off” email!)

- if everything is supposed to be black and white, why is there so much gray?

Okay, that’s enough…

Hey, the Lakers and Rockets are playing now!  The Lakers are killing the Rockets early… that sucks, as I really do not care for the Lakers.  I think it goes back to the whole Kobe incident.  Y’all do know, he WAS and IS guilty, right?

As a sidenote to this entry, I didn’t watch our President’s address to the graduating class of Notre Dame today!  I didn’t agree with that whole thing… I mean, I just didn’t!

Okay, I am going to sign off for now!  I am rambling and that’s not always a good thing!  Just one of them days, I suppose!!

I will not be available tomorrow (Monday) until early evening… for those of y’all that are used to finding me on Monday’s!  Also, I will not be available on Tuesday night or Wednesday… for those used to finding me on that day!  Well, after Tuesday, my schedule is a little up in the air at the moment… I’ll keep ya informed.  Yes, I said YA!

Peace

Luscious Lyndee

Oh, the song… the song… it’s an awesome song, listen to it…

NO!

Some of ya may already know, I am a great facilitator of sexual fantasies.  Those of ya that have never called me do not know!  I take great pride in putting together your perfect sexual fantasy!  Not mine, but yours!  I am here for all of the hardworking men of the world that want to escape their reality for a bit, and venture into another realm.  Sexual realm. 

I have always confessed to be the best at what I do, but there is some competition out there… in my mind, I am the best.  In some of your minds, I am the best.  And, that’s a good thing, as it keeps you calling!  And, it kinda-sorta does a little something for my ego.  For those of us in the biz that are really super-duper good at sexual fantasy facilitation, it does give us somewhat of an ego boost to hear our clients say, “hey, thanks for a great call”, or, “Lyndee, you’re the best”, or perhaps, “I can’t wait to call you again!”

Let’s face it guys, this is a very competitive business!  I refuse to lower my prices, not because I am greedy, but because I am good at what I do and I deserve to be duly compensated for my artistry!  Those of ya that have called me once, or are repeat clients, know I am worth every penny!  And, I appreciate your knowing this, and willingness to compensate me for my aural talent.

Now, one thing I cannot stand about this job, is the fact that new callers to me do not know that I do not actively participate on my calls… in a physical manner.  Another words, I am not over here panting, moaning and groaning, playing with myself, or pretending to… I am facilitating, not masturbating. 

It goes without saying that most callers would like for their phone sex operator to be getting naughty with herself, but I am not one that does this.  For those of you that are loyal readers of my blog, I apologize for the redundancy of this, but I occasionally have to bring the topic back to the forefront so that new clients, or perspective clients, know.

Believe me, I can get very descriptive and imaginative, without ever touching any part of my body.  It really isn’t a pre-requisite, is it?  I mean, do you have to touch yourself in order to be able to describe a scent, a texture, a curve, a book, a feel?  Hell no, ya sure don’t! 

It is called visualization… a mind game.  Close your eyes… let your mind wander… imagine… recall… fantasize… visualize!  Not all people can do this without effort.  Fortunately, I am one that can.  It really is an awesome art.  Now admittedly, I cannot draw a “stick person” and, I really know nothing about Trigonometry… but, I can damn sure facilitate a fantasy… and, it doesn’t have to always be sexual.

I guess what I am saying is, the mind is the largest and strongest sex organ that we, as humans, possess.  I like to use my mind… a lot.  Some might say, too much.  But, is that a bad thing?  I suppose if you weren’t putting it to good use, it would be.  I’d like to think that I am putting my mind to very good use with my clients.  And, by the sounds of it, I am.  This is a good thing.  A very good thing.

So, for potential callers that may have read my feedback on NiteFlirt, saying that, “Lyndee is amazing”, “WOW, she’s the best, I came really hard”, “Lyndee is what phone sex is all about”, or “Lyndee is like a fine wine, she only gets better”… these clients are writing how they feel about my facilitation talent.  They are not, in any way, insinuating that it is via my “moans and groans”, “panting” and, “screaming obscenities” until I overflow with sexual pleasure, that got them off.

I use my verbal skills, along with mental imagery… and, it is a fantastic combination.  Yes, I am a facilitator of sexual fantasy.  I am not here playing with anything other than my brain! 

Thankfully, there is a demand for this type of phone sex. 

Here’s to all of ya that understand this post… thanks for hanging in there!!!

Luscious Lyndee, the sexual fantasy facilitator!!

Lyndee doesn’t work for the Psychic Network!  I don’t possess any mindreading skills and I am not feeling any ghostly vibes when you call me.  I cannot ascertain from the sound of your voice, if you so choose to speak, what is on your mind, or what fantasy it is that you’d like fulfilled.

However, if you give me even a hint, I can usually put my creative mind to work and hopefully be on the right track!   But, please…. please, don’t say that you’re into “everything” when you call, and then when I threaten you with the thought of being lost in the woods with 5 very lonely and hungry wolves, hang up! 

Seriously, don’t expect me to be anymore than a facilitator of your sexual fantasy… and, in order to do this, I MUST HAVE SOME INPUT!

Not to mention, it is just downright fucking RUDE to call and then hang up on ANY phone sex operator, when you’re not willing to contribute anything to the call.  Honestly, we aren’t mind readers…

I don’t mean to come off as rude… please don’t misinterpret my post here.  But, we really do need some interaction of sorts to make your call a success.  So, don’t be afraid, I am sure I have heard your request before… nothing shocks me… I am non-judgmental… and, I just want ya to be a happy camper!

Have a super duper weekend…

I will be available and taking your phone sex calls on NiteFlirt tonight and sporadically through the weekend!

Luscious Lyndee

It’s not going to be my typical Saturday.  One where the minute I open my eyes, my feet hit the floor and I busy myself with the tasks of the usual domestic duties… yuck, not today!  I don’t want to.  I have no will or desire to wipe a cloth across the old oak tree!  I don’t want to push a vacuum, sweep a floor, clean a toilet, wash a dish, do laundry, or clean a ceiling fan.  Nope, not gonna do any of that stuff today.

Why?

Because I just don’t want to!  I do it every Saturday without fail, and today, I’m not going to!  Do you think anyone will notice?  Do I care if they do?  And, who the hell are “they” anyway?  Always a question of deep ponderment, isn’t it?

So today, I will relinquish myself to the new CHAISE, taking up temporary residence on the patio, and have Ra, also known as Annu to some, work his magic!  Today, it is all about the Vitamin D, a very essential vitamin incidentally, and just chilling out and enjoying some baseball and the Kentucky Derby later in the day and the Sprint Cup race tonight.  Shouldn’t I be at a party or something?  Sipping on a mint julep and showing off a big fancy hat?  Nah…

Instead… I will just have a nice and relaxing day for myself.  Afterall, today I am a slacker… but, will be available and taking calls on NiteFlirt.  Pardon the raspy voice, as I have some allergic process going on?  Or, maybe a cold?  I don’t know what the fuck it is… but, I hear, and ”they” say, Vitamin D is the next best thing to Vitamin C…

Is that true?

Why don’t ya call and give me your opinion?  Then, I can say that I finally know who “they” are!

Have a super-duper day!

Luscious Lyndee

…don’t know why, but this song just came into my head and I cannot stop singing it, LOL!!!

Fantasy Girl

Lately I’m learnin
That so many yearnings are never to be
The childhood illusions are merely delusions of a girl that I see
In my minds eye
I see clearly a vision of how it could be
Me and my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
Be my fantasy girl
Don’t set me free
Now I’ve had my share
Sometimes I swear that I’ve had enough
You end up in sorrow
Broken tomorrows, love can be tough
But my minds eyed sees a vision of true love and how it should be

Me and my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
Be my fantasy girl
Don’t set me free
Be my fantasy
Yeah yeah yeah
I see clearly a vision of how it could be, yeah
Be my fantasy
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah
Be my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
Your my fantasy girl
Don’t set me free
Be my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
Your my fantasy girl
Don’t set me free
Yeah
from this fantasy

What a day! 

Yes, it’s Friday, thank goodness.  But, I was really dreading this day beginning on Wednesday.  I was informed that there would be an office meeting at my office, and I just really hate these meetings because I always have to be the “bitch” that delivers the bad news.  Really, the only drawback of my job, off of NiteFlirt, of course.  All of my little sissies, cuckolds and pantyboys know just how much of a bitch I can be… but, I really just don’t like to be pegged by fellow employees in that light!  And, to tell you the truth, there is only ONE person in my life that will even get away with calling me a BITCH!  And, I actually encourage it, LOL!

Anyway, I got off topic.  Sorry for my rambling nature today, but I am just in that kind of mood.  So, there has been some “cat fighting” in the workplace as of late.  And what really just pisses me off, is that we have had the same type of meeting for the past two months now… and, it just isn’t sinking in with the girls.  And honestly, something I really despise doing, is repeating the same thing(s) over and over to people!  I like for things to register in the “gray matter” the first time… the second time I have to repeat, I am a little annoyed, but understand that things happen… the third time, I get a little fucking upset.  Today was one of those days…  how many times do I have to repeat myself?  I work with reasonably intelligent women… what’s the fucking problem…

Most of y’all know, I pretty much call an ace an ace and a spade a spade.  I don’t like beating around the bush, or telling little white lies to only try and wiggle myself out of later!  I mean, if I lied, I lied… I’ll fess up to it!  Don’t misunderstand, as I don’t make it a point of lying, but I have told a few “little white lies”… those are supposedly okay?  I don’t pull any punches with my beliefs, nor my work ethic.  I am brutally honest about how I feel about my political views, and about below the board PSO’s!  Okay, again… where the fuck was I before I got on this tangent?

So anyway… today was all about the catfighting and teaming of employees against others…  the bullying, the bullshit that transpires when you get a bunch of hormonal women all working together.  I mean, why is it so difficult for 6 women to all be harmonious?  Like one another.  And, even if you don’t like one or two, pretend!  For fuck sake, it’s only 8 hours a day…

Ohhhhhh nevermind…. I get so worked up when I talk about this work stuff… so, let’s talk about…

SEX!

Yeah, that’s right… I am available and taking calls, so give me a jingle and let’s talk about…

SEX!  Share your favorite fantasy with me, and I will try my damnest to help you to relieve your stresses of the day/week/month/year! 

Alright, I am waiting on the UPS guy… and he better get here soon, or I might just….

No, I’d never go off on him… he’s always the bearer of great things… today, it is two pair of sandals.  I am really hooked on these EARTH sandals now days… and I have two pair that better fucking be here soon!!!

Have a fantabulous weekend, and I look forward to hearing from ya!

And, don’t forget to check out the awesome fucking blog of Miss Angela St. Lawrence, the Queen of Female Domination, over at zenfetish.com  Now, that chica knows her stuff!!  And besides that, she’s good people!  Just fucking do it, okay?

Ciao

Luscious Lyndee