Joke: For All Those Dirty Minds …
 

These may sound bad but the moral at the end is a good one…

I was scared at first.
It was very wide, and very long,
and it angled straight up.
I decided I had to try it once.
I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it.
It felt weird at first.
Then I got used to it.
I went up and down, and up and down on it.
I was really loving it.

Now I ride on escalators all the time.

I took my fingers and slowly,
and gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice … I found I couldn’t stop.
I licked it faster and faster, and harder.
I began to scrape my teeth against it.
There it was, in my mouth!
All sweet and creamy.
I was done.

And I threw away the outsides of my Oreo cookies.

I squeezed it gently at first,
then a little bit harder.
There seemed to be more and more of it
I moved it towards my lips.
It was a strange and new sensation for me.
I put it in my mouth
and moved it around and around with my tongue.
The time soon came when I knew I had to spit it out.
It was quite an experience.

The 1st time I tasted toothpaste.

They were both round and firm.
There was only the slightest difference between the two.
I took one in my hand and twisted it hard.
I used my other hand to grab the other one
and twist it hard the other way.

Now there’s a brighter light bulb in the living room.

It was very long, kind of thin.
I slid it between my fingers
until I got to the end of it.
I was turning it on.
It became firm in my hands,
and the end was wet.
Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.

Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.

I knew it could be done.
I wanted to try but I didn’t know if I could do it.
I called my friend.
He said he knew how to do it and would teach me.
He put his arms around me and started.
I watched nervously in the mirror.
He finally finished and pulled back slowly.
I felt relieved that it was over.

I hate neckties.

It looked warm and dark, and juicy and inviting.
I wasn’t sure just what I wanted to do with it.
I carefully pulled it apart with my fingers to look into it better.
I knew how great it would be if I just started eating it.

But I decided to put ketchup on my burger.

MORAL???

It is not the word that corrupts the mind, but the mind that corrupts the word.

Well, hello…. after my little rampage yesterday, I thought I would come back and try to be a little nicer!  Not that I was being mean, because it just isn’t in my nature, but I was very vocal in my opinion(s)!  It’s all cool… if you know me, I am usually pretty vocal in my opinion(s) and beliefs!

I am just sitting here watching American Idol; yes, I am an Idol junkie!  Everyone keeps saying that this is the best season, but I have to disagree!  There are only a handful I think could really have a career, and one of them was kicked off last week.  Honestly, she wasn’t kicked off because of her lack of talent, but probably because she wasn’t your typical “idol” figure!  Regardless, I don’t think we have heard the last from Amanda; the Joplin type!  I really like the girl from Ireland, Carley,  Brooke, and one of the guys…Michael Johns!  (funny, his mom was just saying on the show how competitive he has always been… sounds like someone else I know, LOL!)  DAMN, he just did Queen and he rocked the house!!!  SHAZAAM!!  Oh WOW, Carley is a Virgo just like me; says she is VERY PARTICULAR… LOL, sounds like someone I know, once again!  Here, listen with me… let’s see what she sings!!!  Total Eclipse of the Heart… (I love this song, by the way!)  WOWWWWW….go Carley!  Randy didn’t like it, Paula liked it, Simon says she was uptight… HMMMM…. Anyway, I am pulling for Carley!!  However, not enough can be said about David Cook…. WOWZA!  If you missed his rendition of “Billie Jean” tonight, you missed a masterpiece!!!  Imagine Michael Jackson’s hit in rock form….it was unbelievable!!!! But, this little guy, David, is probably going to win.  Don’t get me wrong, he has a great voice, but he’s just a little too #*$&&$(# for me… Ssshhhh….teenie bopperish!

Not much exciting going on recently.  As I have mentioned, I have been busy with my other job, and trying to be available to friends right now.   I am just trying to concentrate on being the loving and supportive person that I am… a lot has been happening to those I care so much about recently.  Anyway, that’s that.

So, what’s going on in your life?  Do share….

OK, just wanted to stop by and say hi…. today is TMI Tuesday, but I wasn’t crazy about the questions, so I am opting out!!!  Hopefully, will be back next Tuesday with some TMI for you.

Take care, and have a good night!

L-

and I’ll bitch if I want to!  But, we’ll get to that in a moment or two…

I hope y’all had a great Easter!  Mine was spent with loved ones and consoling the ones that need it most right now.  Dinner was great, and I really enjoyed spending time with my parents as well.  All in all, it was a good day!

Today, on the other hand, has been AWESOME thus far!  And, when I say AWESOME, it is an understatement… I just love when the “man in brown” (yes, the UPS guy) comes to visit me.  Of all the visits I have gotten from him in my life, today’s was the most appreciated and anticipated… I wish I could think of a great “catch phrase” for today’s delivery.  Let me think on it…

So, now I want to get to the opening line of my entry!  I really try and stay away from the stage of drama that is so sickening in this biz!  At one time, I was caught up in it all, but after realizing that it was a HUGE waste of my time and energy, I ceased being a part of it!  However, over the weekend it seems that some of the wanna be “holy rollers” of the biz have taken some very low pot shots at someone that is very dear to me.  And, that would be my web designer, Lynn. 

Lynn is an INCREDIBLE designer, as well as a true friend to me.  She has always been there for me when I wanted or needed work done, and has always (well, maybe an exception or two) done it with a smile on her face and very quickly.  If she wasn’t smiling, it was my fault, not hers.  All in all, she has put together tons of web sites and NiteFlirt pages for many, many PSO’s… and, even does work outside of the adult entertainment industry.  I have watched Lynn evolve over the past two years, and quite honestly, there isn’t anyone’s work I like better or would consider approaching to do work for me.  She is, in my estimation, the bomb diggity of design in this field.

So, back on track here… it disturbed me greatly to read some commentary about her over the weekend… where, and I won’t mention names here because firstly, it’s not important… the one I am speaking of in particular, frequents my blog on a daily basis and will read this… which is good… I am flattered this person wants to visit me everyday… but, to make the comments about Lynn and her abilities were not only childish, but a great indicator of your lack of compassion for humanity.  If I remember correctly, you used Lynn in the past, correct?  You were very happy with her works… unfortunately, after Lynn put forth much effort in one of your projects, you even failed to pay her!  Am I not correct again?  After not paying her, you had the nerve to approach her after that to do another project for you, correct?  Did she not help you out even after you skipped out on her?  She damn sure did….and you never even offered to make good on your bill with her!

So now, you want to take issue with text… text is not Lynn’s job!  She is a graphics designer and has ALWAYS told us, her clients, that WE are responsible for our own text!  We all seem to understand this… and then the subject of copyright infringement enters the picture… I ask, do you know the laws?  Have you paid the proper people to use their images?  Hmmm… I think not!   I know of one specifically that you have not.  So, let’s not get into an argument with Lynn about copyright infringement… because  you have no clue what you are talking about here.  Yes, you maybe extremely anal about spelling, which I find funny… considering your lack of sentence structure knowledge… can openly trash Lynn about certain things in an open forum… with absolutely no praise for her for the hard work she put forth for you at one time, and you not even paying her for her services!  Shame on you…  get back with the “pack” and mind your own house before invading others… totally uncalled for!

That’s right… this is my blog and I can damn sure write about whatever I want here… but you, girl, need to take a step back and realize that THERE IS NOTHING PERFECT ABOUT YOU….  off the soapbox!

Anyway, I hope y’all have a great day… and I will be back soon!!!

L-

Seems lately I’ve only been showing up on special occasions, and today is no exception!  Of course, I wanted to hop on by and wish each and everyone of ya a very Happy Easter!

There’s been a lot going on in my life the past several weeks… I don’t mean to ignore my blog or the readers hereof, but I just haven’t been in the mindset to write here.  I have been busy trying to be attentive to those closest to me and their needs recently…  as there is no more precious gift than the one of our time when one is in need. I hope you understand.  

Anyway, again… enjoy your Easter and I will be back…

L-

The things people do with those disgustingly sweet Easter faves, the dreaded “Peeps”

THE CHAISE 

I walk into your room and find you laying naked on the Chaise.  Waiting on someone, are you?With the soft flicker of candlelight, I can see that familiar sparkle in your eye.  No words are spoken, simply that look that alerts me of your craving.  Your want. Your need. I am here for you now, so you can take your hand off your cock. 

You feel my freshly manicured nails, painted candy apple red, on  your right instep.  Moving upward, I begin to gently brush my fingertips up the inner aspect of your calf and thigh.  Bypassing, but not to ignore your stiffened cock, I trace your ”love trail” up your tummy, and through the soft hair on your chest. You resist the urge to reach down and take your cock back into your hand, knowing that within seconds it will be my hand wrapped around you. Afterall, it is MY cock.

Feeling my soft hands cupping your face and bending down to kiss your angel soft lips just a peck, as I reach down, you feel my palm wrapping itself around you. Slowly stroking you as I brush my lips against every part of your face.  Leaving traces of my pale pink lipstick; making an artwork of your face. Feeling my tongue against your ear as I softly whisper,I  feel your response within my grip.

My tongue glides back to your lips, parting to take me in.  Sucking me in, hard! Tongues dancing, being sucked back and forth with such force.  I feel your hands reaching up to cup my breasts; my nipples already erect.  I remove my hand from your cock, reach up and pull the belt of my robe.  My robe opens and falls to the floor.

I straddle the Chaise, taking your cock back into my grasp, beginning to rub the head of your cock against my outer lips, your eyes, like a reflection in mine.  Feeling my wetness and your precum against my lips, I open myself up to you, and begin to masturbate my clit with your cock.  Using your cock for my pleasure. Ultimately, the head of your cock works its way into me.  I begin to lower myself onto you, however, you are already thrusting into me. I cannot fuck you fast enough.  Gripping and milking you while fucking you with my eyes. And, that sweet cunt you crave so often.

Tell me, tell me what it is that you want?

…and I hope you all enjoy it!  The strawberries and cream had seen their day, and I wanted a “facelift” per se’!

Thanks to my web designer, Lynn, of Designs By Lovies, who once again has given me exactly what I asked for!  She has been doing my design work for about two years now, and she has never let me down!!  Without her, I would be lost!  She can attest to that!  I know absolutely ZERO about the tech side of computers and she is always there with her hand extended… I appreciate her bunches!!  She is, in my opinion, the best designer this business has!  Thanks again, Lynn!!

Okay, so sit back and relax… and enjoy my new site!!  Thanks for stopping by and I hope to hear from ya soon!!!

Have a great night….

Lyndee

Is sex hotter for you when it’s forbidden? Or do you get wracked with guilt and it’s not enjoyable?Are casual sexual encounters fulfilling to you?

Well, it is like this!  Forbidden sex does seem to heighten the pleasure at the moment!  However, after all is said and done and I am left to reflect, I wrack myself… So far as casual sexual encounters and them being fulfilling?  It depends on the person…  but, I suppose they are fulfilling for the moment.  But personally, I am not into casual sexual encounters.  I go much deeper than that…. unlike days gone by!

Do you need an emotional commitment from your partner for sex to be fulfilling?

Ahsolutely…. 

Do you think that with all of the online dating sites that cater to every fetish and desire and places like craigslist that it’s more difficult to make a commitment and/or stay committed to your partner?

I do believe that there is a lot of temptation out there, that’s for certain!  However, if you are open-minded and adventurous, I do believe that a couple can share in their fetishes/fantasies.  No judgment, no guilt… an honest, open and loving relationship should be able to deter the urge to “wander”!

Have you ever joined or participated in an online dating site?  If not, would you ever consider it?  What about a fetish site, such as alt.com?

LOL… sorry, don’t mean to laugh here!  Yes, I have!  However, they aren’t all they are made out to be! 

What is the weirdest fetish you’ve heard of?

Definitely a client from my past, and I even wrote about it on my old blog.  I had a client that got off on breaking anything glass… he would break bottles, glasses, plates, etc…. and then grind his white boots into the shattered mess.  It was like fingernails on a chalkboard listening….  A close second, the sneezing!  I cannot do it, but over the years have had a handful of requests for this one!  I know, I know… maybe not so weird to some of you!
Bonus (as in optional):  The definition of ‘fetish’ is so vague. Do you think you have a fetish(s)?  If so, do you want to share what it is? 

Yes, I do have a fetish or two… LOL!!!

1. Under what conditions would you kiss a stranger?

A complete stranger…. none!  What constitutes a stranger in this sense? 
2. Who was the last person you sent a text message to? If you’ve never sent someone a text message, is there some reason

I do not text message… I call or email!
3. When was the last time you deliberately surprised someone?

Yesterday…sent my best friend flowers for her first day back at work!
4. How often do walk somewhere (hopefully, other than the mailbox)?

All of the time… I like riding my bike more, admittedly.  However, I am not adverse to walking… just enjoy biking more.  I do sometimes use the treadmill at the gym instead of the bike, too…. WOO WOO!
5. What were the longest and shortest durations of your romantic relationships?

Longest…. 7 years!  Shortest…. about 7 minutes!  Long enough for him to show his real colors after the first few dates!

Bonus (as in optional):What is missing from your life.

Man, this is a really personal question…. but, an answer that I feel comfortable writing here would be, Mr. Right and children.  And, another puppy!